tsunade
New Member
Age : 29
Registration date : 2009-04-07
Number of posts : 20
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 Subject: plase read Mon Apr 27, 2009 2:54 pm |
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i write alot of stories and i want to know what you all think about this one
blood steel
i am ichinomi i al ways knew i was different but i didn't know how till every piece of my memory came back to me in a falsh let me take you back to thebeginning ........I live on a planet called intue when i was 10 yers old mymother had died from a sickness when it was dusk i went uot for a walk without my gaurds well i was't completely paying attention to were i waswalking and i ended up flling off a cliff i endded up twisting my ankel and for some odd reason i was uable to move my body and every time i tried to heal myself it would burn so i just layed there.Days later no one had found me ,then weeks later still no one until i heard a sweet voice talking to me he said '' this is how cruel the world is my dear they leave for dead.'' then i heard my self speak ''kira help me please'' then i felt hot tears run down my face and then he spoke agin ''k...kira?! hmp my dear you are far from the kingdom are you the young princess?''istayed quiet for a couple of seconds and responded ''yes i am please help me i dont want to die not now'' he stood up and he himself started to heal me but insted of feeling the burn i fel like i was floting on water after he helped me up and i asked him his name ha said ''my name is zero''......
Last edited by tsunade on Tue May 05, 2009 2:54 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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tsunade
New Member
Age : 29
Registration date : 2009-04-07
Number of posts : 20
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| Subject: Re: plase read Mon Apr 27, 2009 2:56 pm |
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| i hope you all reply |
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dark
Apprentice Duelist
Age : 30
Registration date : 2009-03-05
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| Subject: Re: plase read Tue Apr 28, 2009 8:02 am |
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i think its a good story  |
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hinata
New Member
Age : 29
Registration date : 2009-03-16
Number of posts : 18
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| Subject: Re: plase read Wed Apr 29, 2009 1:54 pm |
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i thin it nice as well but you have no periods any were mwke som echanges to it as well  |
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haku
Apprentice Duelist
Age : 30
Registration date : 2009-02-17
Number of posts : 23
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Job/hobbies : dueling yu-gi-oh!
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| Subject: Re: plase read Wed Apr 29, 2009 1:56 pm |
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i kind of some what like it and i agree with hinata you should do some corections  |
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Blair Flannigan
Fiery Duelist
Age : 32
Registration date : 2009-01-05
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Location : lancaster
Job/hobbies : i like to duel and have fun i love bakugan
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| Subject: hi Mon May 04, 2009 2:39 pm |
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| yes i agree to this is how you spelled sroies this is how you spell it stories im good at spelling though. |
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tsunade
New Member
Age : 29
Registration date : 2009-04-07
Number of posts : 20
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| Subject: Re: plase read Tue May 05, 2009 2:54 pm |
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| thank you |
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